When do you reach the point of too comfortable in your relationship? Is it when you allow your man to see you when your sick and gross? Is it when you can take a shower together without having sex? Or is comfort just a sign of true commitment and a deeper connection?
This subject has been on my mind a lot lately. I live with my boyfriend whom I've been dating for over a year and a half (my longest relationship), and we are completely comfortable.
But are we too comfortable? We can go through entire evenings without having an interaction that rise above "Did you take the trash out?" We can spend an hour arguing over sentence structure. We've been known to split a bottle of wine and the cost of a Blockbuster rental in lieu of date night.
However...as a rule, if I can pee in front of a guy, then we are as good as done. I can't/won't at gun point pee in front of Owen. I think on some level I'm trying to mantain a female mystique and thus keep him interested. I'm sure that he doesn't care, and probably thinks I'm ridiculous. Also, I wake up every morning with new things to tell him. Sometimes, when I glance at him across the couch, I get a rush of unfamiliarity...like there are parts of him that I haven't touched, secrets left uncovered.
Is there a good balance? Or is any sense of routine a bad thing? Does true love improve with age or lose its spark as we hold fast to the embers?
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2 comments:
It's funny that you bring this up because I'm having a current dilemma as well (which is how i found your blog), except that my boyfriend and I don't live together yet. When is it too comfortable? I guess it depends on the person, but too comfortable i would say is when the other person has become uncomfortable. Does thst make sense? I'm not sure how this is supposed to be negotiated once the issue is brought up though.. any ideas? For me, talking on the phone while you're going to the bathroom is disrespectful. Is that weird to feel that way?
In terms of your relationship it sounds like you just need to spice things up once in a while but, if you're comfortable as is, both of you, then i don't see a problem.
I completely understand. I don't know an easy way of approaching the issue, though. I've found that a good way to break out of your comfort zone is to spend time apart. Go out with the ladies (hit up a local bar and the gentlemen there are sure to remind you of how great you have it), take a walk...But if you must discuss it, be sure that you have specific examples otherwise the coversation is based on "I feel..." which boys don't always understand.
I agree on the bathroom/phone situation. I hate when Owen does that which is probably why he continues to. However, I'm sure your guy is much more sensitive. Tell him that you find it disrespectful...
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