Children are my greatest fear realized; young motherhood a fate worse than death. I don't have a maternal fiber in my entire multi-cellular body. My internal clock is out of commission. I'm fucking 23 years old and have zero desire to have a child (this is not a sign of immaturity as much as it is a sign of sanity).
Chick Fila is my version of a haunted house. I go there at least twice a week (4-piece chicken strip combo with a fruit cup instead of fries and a Coke, please), because I love the food, the well-lit interior and the clean tables free of migrant workers and creepy construction men. However, I'm not a fan of the loud shrieks, the crying babies or the bad mommy-appropriate haircuts. Also, I do not find pleasure in being closely watched by those aliens we call children as I attempt to enjoy my lunch hour. I do not enjoy the frazzled mother's vain attempt to communicate with her foreign life form about "staring-waring." Don't get me wrong I pity the mothers (barely older than me) as they shovel slop into one drooling face after another unable to chat about Brit Brit, the latest Vogue...It's those creatures for which I have no sympathy. Don't underestimate them. They are just bodysnatchers in disguise waiting to take over your life the moment you let him cum inside of you even though you know you forgot to take the pill that morning.
Adopt a puppy. They lack motor skills plus they aren't birthed out of your vagina.
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